NanoTale : Overlooked Insecurities


She packed her bag after everyone left the class, then slowly moved towards the busiest section on the campus. Consciously adjusting her clothes and fixing her hairs; None of the passers-by exchanged a “Hi” or waved to her, like she was invisible to them. Sinking further into her insecurities and taking small, steady steps she made herself to the place.

Everyone around her was Happy! They smiled, exchanged laughs with friends and shared their lunch. But being uninvited, she found a quiet corner to sit and somehow managed to separate her world from the flashy one, that danced in front of her eyes.

Lost amidst a crowd of known-unknown faces and their ignorance, she pulls out the lunch box from the satchel bag, to grab the sandwiches mother packed for her, but exactly then *Trinnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg Trinnnggg Trinngggg!!*
The college bell rang and the recess was over!


My Chapter one , His Chapter 20

In my junior year, they taught us programming languages (C, C++) and one of my classmates was very good at them; capable enough to develop programming logics in minutes. If I remember right, he never took more than half an hour to complete the programs for any assignments or examinations. When I and my friends were still wondering how to even attempt the problem, he would have already completed everything and looking at the rest of the class which was still struggling. No doubt he was fast and teacher’s favorite!

Initially I was impressed, but eventually, I started comparing myself to him. Considering myself somewhat incompetent or probably not smart enough, but before I could even realize, slowly a fear of programming languages seeped into me, I felt inferior (It’s really a very bad feeling) which drew me away from learning any programming language for some time. It felt like I can’t learn one, they are tough and I’m not smart enough to grasp them.

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

~ Mark Twain

Today, after around 10 years, I can program in many languages with total ease, and remembering the old time brings a realization, that the only cause of that feeling of incompetence was comparing myself to the smart guy, to be honest comparing the end results not our efforts. I was never in any ways incompetent, or a bad programmer, It was just me making myself, feel miserable by comparing my zero efforts with the knowledge he attained over time. I know now it was totally my fault!

I remember he used to breathe, live and talk programming languages and I was nothing like that and was more concerned about my soccer match in the evening 🙂

No one can make you inferior,
without your consent

~ Eleanor Roosevelt


Understand: The comparison of end result would have made any real sense, if in the case both of us would have poured in, the same amount of efforts, but that was not the case here, I never made any efforts in learning any programming language. And even if you’re doing the comparison of end results, please make sure to compare the efforts invested in reaching to that level before that.

“You can’t compare someone’s Chapter-20 with your Chapter-1”.

There are still moments when some tasks may appear challenging and unachievable, but now they don’t scare me anymore or make me feel bad about myself because, I understand that first I need to put in required Hard work, energy and efforts, and then do the comparison if that is even required.

Signing off, Cheers…